Where Would You Be Without Your Drama?
That's a question I often ask my clients, because it's the drama that keeps you from experiencing a successful and rewarding life. Drama shows up in various ways.
Take Kent for example. He cringes when he hears his wife's scolding voice. He is unable to speak his truth in his marriage and he keeps walking on eggshells, trying to be a little nicer, a little more supportive but nothing works. The same unhealthy patterns play out over and over after fifteen years of marriage.
Then there's Paulette. She feels taken advantage of by her family. She loans money and it never gets repaid. Her adult kids dump their kids off for babysitting without any notice. Her spouse doesn't help with the housework. She prides herself on being giving, but she's about give out. She's feeling resentful even if she won't admit it.
Even though Mark is a business owner, he lets his star employee Betsy run over him. He's afraid to lose her because she's been with him from the beginning. Even though other employees quit because of the favoritism, he just doesn't have the courage to deal with the situation so he sticks his head in the sand and pretends to be easy-going and nonchalant.
Shoveling Coal in the Boiler Room or Captain of the Ship?
Who's in charge? You or your worry? You or your monkey mind? You or your doubts? You or your addiction to approval? It's all DRAMA.
Then there's Amy. Her perfectionist expectations are driving her and everyone around her crazy. She's hard on others but even harder on herself. Her criticism is sharp and her sarcasm doesn't help her make any new friends. Deep down Amy has a secret. She feels misunderstood and no matter how much she achieves she still feels unworthy. No matter how much others try to help her, it's never quite good enough.
Finally, there's Kim. Kim is going through a mid life crisis. Kim longs to find purpose but feels that time is running out at age 40. Sitting on the fence is what Kim does best. Kim feels guilty because there is so much to be thankful for, yet Kim continues to feel that something is missing.
I'll tell you why change is so scary
It's not that you are crazy or that you are not motivated. Your brain actually may be keeping you from changing. There is this almond shaped structure called the amygdala that shoots out chemicals when you are going through intense change. You will experience the sensations of fear, doubt and anxiety when the amygdala is working. So as you can see, it's not just about making up your mind, sucking it up, or doing the right behaviors.
You have to reprogram your mind
The reality is, most of our drama comes from sub-conscious programming and telling yourself stories that no longer serve you. Through your life experiences you have literally wired your brain to respond the way it does. That is one reason it can be so difficult to make a change, even if you want it. So many times people work on changing their reaction, but it only lasts for so long. Here's the good news: Scientists now know that the brain has plasticity and you can reprogram it even if you are middle-aged or beyond, but it doesn't happen by just changing your reactions or your responses.
I'm not here to change your reaction
I'm here to change your experience. As you step into a new truth and your experience changes, so does all the other things in your life including your reactions.
Of course no one can make you change if you don't want to.
Transformation starts with a desire for change followed by a belief that you can change instead of an excuse as to why you can't. This work is about transforming your core and not your corporation. It's about transformation, not training.
Here's a distinction: All transformation involves some training, but not all training involves transformation. When you step into a new truth you CAN change anything: Your finances, your relationships and your health; even if you haven't been able to before.
It's Time to Step Into A New Truth
My name is Marlene Chism, and I'm the founder of the Stop Your Drama Methodology and the author of two books. My first book, Success is a Given: Reading the Signs While Reinventing Your Life, is great for anyone looking for purpose, going through change or seeking a life reinvention.
My second book, Stop Workplace DramaÂ (Wiley 2011) is for the workplace, but all the principles work in your personal life as well. That is what this web page is about. I want to be the bridge between your personal and professional life. After two decades plus of intense study I have learned that the drama that impacts you personally also impacts you professinoally and vice versa.
The Stop Your Drama Methodology is designed to help you identify and eliminate drama at the core, so that you can reinvent and realign and live from the truth of who you really are rather than the stories you have been telling yourself. After successfully reinventing my life at mid-life and going for a degree in communications and a master's degree in Human Resources Development I have learned a thing or two about how it all works, and why simply trying to be more disciplined or changing behaviors without changing the mindset does not work. I have also learned why it is very difficult to do without coaching or some sort of mentor to help you along the way. I have literally cracked the code on conscious reinvention
Your Words Hold Amazing Power
There are six words that keep you stuck in the box: "That's just the way I am." There are only three words that can get you out: "I can change."
Whether your drama is of a professional nature or more personal, The Eight Principles in the Stop Your Drama Methodology help you understand the three common components always present in drama, so you can identify drama and pluck it out by the roots.
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Want to talk to Marlene about training for your workplace? Call 417.831.1799